How A Warlock Gets Even with Thieving Tavern Keeps by Destroying his Tavern and Stealing his Gold : CritCrab



So about a year or so ago, I was in a 3.5 campaign that was fun. The DM was new to running but had gamed with us before so he knew how we gamed. The players were a Grey Elf Warlock who I played, a Bugbear Ranger/Barbarian, a Tiefling Rogue, Warforged Monk, and a Human Cleric of Pelor. We were all 3rd level at this point I believe.

To get to the met of the story

We had just got a clue to the main plot, we were hunting a lich, and we arrived in a village on the way. Since it was nearly nightfall and we were low on supplies, we decided to stop at the tavern/inn and stay for the night. When we entered the tavern we saw that it was very busy and there were little games and contests. One competition that got the attention of the Barbarian and Rogue was a fighting tournament. If you won, you’d get about 500gp which we desperately needed since we were poor as hell. People could also make bets on the fights so we sunk all of our collective gold into a bet on the Barbarian, I bet ten on Rogue losing.

The first fight was between the Barbarian and a blacksmith. I’ll let you guess who won. It only lasted two rounds. After that, it was the Rouge against random-ass Farmer Joe. The farmer beat the shit out of the Rogue but eventually Rogue came out on top. After that was an NPC fight between an oversized “Half-Orc” and a poor, poor labourer. After that, the Rogue got to fight against the “Half-Orc”.

The little guy tried his hardest but got his ass beat to next Sunday. We were all suspicious of the “Half-Orc” and since the Rogue was unconscious and being tended to by the Warforged, I decided to investigate. Since I was a Warlock I had Invocations and decided early on that I’d only take ones that related to RP and defending myself.

We decided that I would go around and investigate since my Bluff, Diplomacy, and Listen were the highest. Skulking around, I had to roll for all three of those skills. The Dice Gods smiled upon me and I knocked all three of the rolls out of the park.

As the Barbarian was fighting the “Half-Orc”, I discovered it was actually a Half-Ogre.


Said Half-Ogre was a 7th Level Barbarian that was on the payroll

of the Tavern Owner who just so happened to be part of a Thieves Guild.

Even Better.

Once Bugbear was defeated and all of our gold was stolen, I informed the party. We agreed that these people were asshats and we were going to rob them. Problem was, Rogue was still knocked out. So, securing my scarf that my four pet hamsters slept in, I made rounds and started whispering to EVERYONE in the tavern. What did I tell them you ask? Well it’s simple.

Using my stupid high Bluff and Diplomacy, I just whispered that the tavern owner was robbing them and actually part of a cult worshiping a dark god planning on using their money to fund a ritual to summon said god. Beguiling Influence is a beautiful thing.

So of course, people start to lose their shit and a massive fight starts in the bar. The Half-Ogre Rages and is attacking the patrons. I felt kind of bad about the innocent people being hurt but we were in a vengeful mood.

As the chaos ensued we all ran over to the bartop and peeked behind it. Sitting down there is the decent-sized chest that our gold was thrown into, along with everyone else’s. Greed clouding our minds, Barbarian and Warforged pick up the chest and smash it into the wall, alerting everyone.

We quickly throw Rogue onto the chest and run off into the forest. Cleric was yelling at us for breaking the law and how he’s now broken the law. Looking back, we saw the Tavern burning with guards rushing over and a very, very pissed off Half-Ogre. We’re just laughing and eventually, we’re far into the forest. After we set up camp and I cook food for us and my hamsters, we opened the chest. By this point, Rogue was awake and upset that he was knocked the fuck out by a Half-Ogre. Once he opened the chest we looked inside. In the chest was a nice 5000gp from the past month of scalping people. Even had a note in it of the small gold cache’s the Tavern Owner had.

Honestly, one of the most fun games I’ve been in and that was the best session of it. Hope y’all enjoyed it cause I sure as hell did.


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